Here I am after 22 years in a school community the "victim" of financial issues. And I am at HOME. With the four year old. Doing dishes. Doing Laundry. Doing stuff.
I find myself not knowing what to do. I have LOTS to do. I can't escape it. I have lots to do and a lot of time in which to do it. The problem is... because I'm home, my mind thinks it's summer or Saturday or a snow day (heaven knows this summer has been a cold one!). SCHOOL HAS BEGUN!!! What am I doing here?
Well, Monday, I did Laundry and Dishes. Tuesday, I did Laundry and Dishes. Wednesday I Wallowed in Self Pity playing Literati till part of my brain rotted. Today. I overslept, but got everybody to their destination on time. I visited with a neighbor who came to sell me Avon, but I got showered and lunch on the table for my husband in a timely fashion. I have started a blog.
You see, I have always wanted to write. Yes, just me and thousands of other folks. But! I have been given a gift of time. My beautiful, intelligent daughter is four. Next year she will go to kindergarten four days a week and I will take my teaching certificate (which, this year, did not get me a job) and I will march myself to the office of the superintendent and sign up to be a substitute teacher. This year. THIS YEAR. I can make work for me. True, I have pretty much wasted 3 days since school began(summer didn't count.....). I can take this lovely purple with dark green spots bull by the horns and do things MY WAY, not someone else's way. Sigh. I wish I had a stronger sense of how to begin. How to make the most of every single minute. I'm fully aware of how precious this time is and how quickly time will fade. So.
My purpose in writing this blog is to write. I want to write publicly to force myself to be out there. As I sit here now, my heartbeat is somewhat fast knowing I want to let this go on THE WEB. I want to force myself to let it all hang out... no, not graphically, just in a way that I feel I can lose my fears.
So, here goes. A new writer is HERE! I am where I need to be!
